Haven’t wore underwear all day today. Damn, I need to freeball more often. Catching a gust of wind wearing my shorts feels wonderful down there.
I seriously have so much bad shit going on in my life right now that I’m not even sure what to post. I don’t know where to start. It’s too much.
And he doesn’t show up.
"Stinkfist" by Tool
"It’s not enough, I need more, nothing seems to satisfy, I don’t want it, I just need it, to...
Assorted stuff and junk. Who am I? How the hell should I know? Stop asking stupid questions and go frolicking somewhere.
It’s a benign cyst. She said it will need to be removed if it starts giving me any issues and they will check it periodically to make sure it’s not growing.
I have been walking around all day saying, “ITS NOT A TOOMAH!!”
In for my yearly mammogram. Lump in my armpit is cause for concern so now waiting on an ultrasound. Fingers crossed this is nothing serious.
I bought a tube of mascara that only cost $2.49 and it turned my eyelashes into completely hard spikes capable of destroying a brick wall. I had to soak my lashes in boiling water to remove it.
Don’t buy bargain makeup. It never pays.
My eyes aren’t blue enough. My hair is unruly on a good day. My eyebrows are too thick. My chin has a twin. My legs are strong but chubby as are my arms. My skin is not smooth. My nails are never perfect. My boobs aren’t perky. My butt is flat. I am too imperfect to be anything pretty. I wonder if I would be happier if my body was different. I am healthier but in my head I never measure up. My insecurities are usually well hidden but sometimes the mirror digs them all up and leaves me feeling wrong and not worthy of anything.
I feel like I am running low on steam…I have been powering through for so long that when things slow down and i have time to stop and think, well, that’s when the problems start. I did so well for the last two years. Just dealing with all the negative shit and getting rid of the people in my life who were treating me shitty. Not getting rid of them necessarily….more like limiting their access to me. Then, I fucked up and let one of them back in my life (a family member, no less) and she fucked me over again and now she blames me for it. And in quiet moments, I blame myself. Because ultimately, I let her back in to hurt me again. But now, I miss her presence in my life and let me tell you this is a really fucked up place to be. Sigh. Am I so accustomed to being treated like shit that I crave it? I know better. And I won’t tolerate it anymore. Even if loneliness creeps in, its better than surrounding myself with fake ass motherfuckers who don’t give a shit about me.
I slept wrong and now I have a crick in my neck. After thinking that to myself I realized I have no idea what the hell a “crick” is. Is this a southern thing? Tell me somebody else has had a “crick” before. Crick. Is a baby cricket called a “crick”? WTF is a “crick”??