1. I’ve been drinking homogenized pasteurized skim milk since I was a teenager. Tonight, for the second time in my life, I had...
The entire fucking movie all I did was roll my eyes. Basically, Luc Besson decide to do a more action-packed...
Hmmm. Let’s see.
1. I’m a good listener.
2. I’m easy to please.
3. I’m fiercely loyal.
4. I’m affectionate.
5. I can be generous…
I just looked at the time I texted Naomi because it was when I got to the train. 1:30am. I just got home at 3:10. I didn’t even have to wait for...
Some lady at the casino told my friend Michel that she had enticing eyes.
Then as we were leaving this random lady said: “bye Michel.” Like she...
i loved the sonic cartoons! one summer i rented and kept the VHS for tiny toon adventures: how i spent my vacation for way too long. i was in love...
Assorted stuff and junk. Who am I? How the hell should I know? Stop asking stupid questions and go frolicking somewhere.
Apparently, I work for a Reality Company. Good to know.
I woke up early. Like two hours earlier than usual so I got up and decided to motivate and go to the dreaded walmart for some various junk I need for the weekend. I live in a very redneck-y area. The walmart is a happening place at 7am. If you are 83. Anyway, the parking lot was nearly empty of cars but all of the shopping cart corral things were jammed full and there were shopping carts EVERYWHERE. So, I grabbed one on my walk in the store and the greeter thanked me for bringing in a buggy (what I call shopping carts). So, long story longer, I go to leave with all of my purchases and I unload them into my car and all of the corrals are still slammed full and overflowing so I left my buggy in a spot near my car which had about 15 buggies in it already. Clearly no one was going to park there so I figure what’s one more? I promptly got called a lazy asshole by some random redneck who asked me why I was too gotdurn good to put up my own cart like the rest of America? He then proceeded to snatch my cart from where I left it (ignoring the others) and stomped towards the store. I started to get mad but then I realized it was my fault for not walking the cart back to the store and leaving it inside. I have been debating with myself for the last hour on whether or not I am a lazy asshole.
I think I need more coffee.
1. I bought a new car. My first brand new car ever. I stuck to a budget and got a great deal. Adulting…all day, every day.
2. I got a raise. The second one since I started. Trust me, I was just as shocked as you.
3. The weather in the south at this time of year is so crazy. Wake up to storm clouds, 12 minutes later it is sunny and balmy, 32 minutes later its hot as fuck and so muggy you are breathing soup, then back to wildass storms out of nowhere. Repeat ad nauseum.
4. Do you think friendships can recover after extended periods of not seeing things eye to eye? I used to think so but now I am not so sure.
5. My teeth hurt and I recently found out that your sinuses can make your teeth hurt. Fucking sinus bastards. The ovaries of the face.
6. I feel like I never have a chance to get on here and really write anything significant but I know we all have that happen from time to time. I stalk and heart when I can. I still love you, asholes.
6am: Fuck. I don’t wanna get up.
6:09am: Stupid alarm. *punches snooze button*
6:18am: What the fuck alarm!!! *hits snooze 343 times*
6:27am: IAMNOTGETTINGUP!!! *hits snooze again then throws pillow*
6:36am: Why is it always 6:30am?? Why? *hits snooze and kicks feet*
6:47am: What the fuck alarm!! Why didn’t you wake me up?!?! *runs to shower screaming obscenities*
7:12am: Burns tongue attempting to drink scalding hot coffee while getting dressed and packing lunch.
7:14am: Sits down to watch news for five minutes. Instead scrolls tumblr on phone.
7:37am: How is it almost 8am??? AHHHHHHH! *runs out door forgetting lunch and phone*
7:45am: *runs back in house for phone but forgets lunch*
8:09am: Pulls into work parking lot going approximately 82mph.
8:11am: Finally gets in the building. 19 minutes early. Can’t understand why I was in such a rush.
8:11:15am: Phone starts ringing, 277 emails waiting, 3 screaming tenants at front door waiting for me to unlock it, toilet overflowing into hallway
8:12am: Officially loses mind.
Happy what the fuck ever day today is!!!